Sometimes, when life gets challenging it is hard to remove yourself from it and calm yourself down. It is extremely hard to come to terms with what you are going through and also make a decision. It is already hard enough to be experiencing hardship and the responsibility of making a decision may be too overwhelming to do in the mist of suffering. Oftentimes, your emotions will interfere with what you believe to be the right choice; other times what you believe will interfere with what emotions you believe to be correct. In this case it becomes nearly impossible to separate yourself from you and your situation in order to make the right decision.
Life currently works through a 1st person perspective because of the ego. The ego adds “I” to all life situations and personalizes everything it sees through its eyes in order to apply it to itself. The ego understands the outside world through the following rule: “everything is about me.” A person who is completely ruled by ego will work through life seeing and thinking through a 1st person perspective.
This means that this person will believe that everything they see and do will be because of themselves, in essence, “I.” Living with a self-centered viewpoint like this makes it hard to see through other people’s eyes and understand different perspectives. This also makes it extremely challenging to make a correct decision; because how can one make a truly informed choice when the only side they see is theirs?
Try to make decisions through a 3rd person perspective. Imagine you are a stranger looking in at your situation. What you see is only the outside you and everything else around you. You cannot see your emotion or understand your thoughts. You can only see what is visual, and so you can only understand what is outside of your mind.
This perspective allows you to remove yourself from your situation and attempt to make a decision without the interference of your own emotion, bias, or pain. By seeing through a 3rd person perspective, the you that is “I” now becomes “he” or “she.” This makes things less personal and allows you to ask the question, “What choice would an innocent stranger make?”, “How does this look from the outside?” and “What choice would I make if I had no biases?”
Do not be mistaken. In this case, you are not looking for someone else’s opinion or perspective because they too will be ruled by their own biases and opinions. You want you yourself to become the stranger that is judging you. You are making the decision not without yourself but with yourself. You become the stranger examining your situation and ultimately making the decision.